


No Bacon for Breakfast

by Craftybadger1234



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual Charlie Weasley, Asexual Relationship, Canon Relationships, F/M, Family Feels, Meet the Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-06-02
Packaged: 2018-11-08 05:20:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11074872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Craftybadger1234/pseuds/Craftybadger1234
Summary: Charlie is bringing his girlfriend home to meet his family. And they find out he’s ace - through a small argument with Anna at dinner, then a supportive conversation with Bill and Percy. The other bits are meant to show that being ace does not make you some weird alien creature devoid of human contact. Also, there’s lots of eye rolling because I roll my eyes a lot. A lot.





	No Bacon for Breakfast

**Author's Note:**

> If I'm remembering right, Molly and Arthur married in the Spring of 1970. So the year 2000 would be their 30th anniversary. I've moved the celebration to the summer for convenience sake.
> 
> I've also completely ignored Fleur's accent. I knew I wouldn't type it right and I'd rather leave it off than get it wrong. It was that, or keep her silent the entire time.

Charlie turned wide eyes to his girlfriend. “Are you sure you want to do this? It's not too late to back out.” They had taken the portkey into Vienna, and from there to Paris. This was their last jump to the Burrow for Anna to meet his family for the first time.

Anna rolled her eyes. Again. “Yes Charlie. I want to meet your family. I want them to meet me. I’m serious about you and I want you to be serious about me.” She held his hand tighter. 

“I am serious about you. I’m just - “

“You’re nervous. It’s fine. I get it. But I promise not to embarrass you. I do know how to behave in public.” She giggled at him and wrapped her arm around his waist. “No talking with my mouth full. No stories about you singing on the bar at pub night. No pinching your bum - ‘

Charlie stuck his tongue out at her. “I didn’t mean it like that and you know it.”

“So I can pinch your bum?” Now it was his turn to roll his eyes. She snorted. “I know, baby. You’re worried about what they’ll say. But it’s fine. No one needs to know anything about us we don’t want to share. Okay?”

He took a deep breath and exhaled. “Okay. Better now. Let’s go before I change my mind.”

The portkey activated with a light blue glow. Charlie and Anna landed in the field next to the Burrow with a jolt. She put the small chipped vase in her bag for the return trip tomorrow. 

“Are you ready? It’s going to be a whirlwind!” Despite his worry, he was obviously cheered to be visiting. He smiled widely and bounced on his toes. It had been a while since his last visit, and even longer since he cared enough to bring someone with him.

“Ready or not, here we are!” Anna took Charlie’s hand and pulled him towards his childhood home. “This will be so much fun!”

“Let’s hope you still think so by the time we leave tomorrow. It’s a bit much, even when it’s just family. But now, with spouses and all, it’s even worse.” As they walked they could see the lights burning in the kitchen. A small crowd bustled about, either getting dinner ready or getting in the way. 

“It’s going to be great! They’re going to love me because I’m amazing and I’m going to love them because they are yours. Now let’s hurry because I’m starving for the delicious food I was promised.”

Charlie paused on the doorstep, took one last deep breath then gave a quick rap on the kitchen door. He opened it up with a loud, “We’re here!”

A cheerful chorus of “Charlie!” echoed around the room followed by a garbled “Anna!” They were engulfed in hugs and hearty pats on the back.

“Come in! Come in! Ron - take their bags upstairs so they’re not cluttering up the kitchen and then go help Bill with the tables outside. Anna! It’s so nice to meet you. I’m Molly. Charlie has told us such nice things about you!” Molly was a round, warm woman with the same brown eyes as Charlie. 

“He’s told me lots about all of you too! I’m so excited to be here!” She glanced around the cluttered kitchen. It was cozier than the home she grew up in. And closer to what she hoped to have one day. “And happy anniversary to you and Arthur. Thirty years is a long time!”

“Oh sometimes it feels like just yesterday!” Molly pulled Arthur to her side and gave him a peck on the cheek. The tops of his ears flushed a bright pink. 

“Anna, lovely to meet you! Come sit down so we can have a chat before dinner. Would you like some tea?”

“Always!” They gathered around the table while Molly and a few others bustled around the kitchen finishing up the dinner preparations. The noise level escalated as the meal drew closer, one person talking over the next as they shared news.

“Charlie tells us you’re a photographer?” Ginny asked. She set out a plate of sliced cheese.

“Yes that’s how we met. My brother Alex works on the dragon reserve and he asked me to come take some promotional photos for a fundraiser they were working on. Charlie and I became fast friends. That was what, two years ago? Maybe three? Anyway, it’s only the past few months we’ve been dating.” She took a piece of cheese and broke off bits to nibble on. 

Charlie reached past her for his own piece. He whispered in her ear, “Don't talk with you mouth full!” She wrinkled her nose and elbowed him. He grinned. 

Angelina chimed in, “What sorts of pictures do you take? I would love a good picture of me and George. He’s always making the most ridiculous faces in photos. Maybe for you he could behave.”

“Oh I take all sorts. I like muggle cameras for landscapes and the occasional portrait. But I take wizard shots of people and animals. I’ve got a few patented spells and potions for editing. Everyone loves the one that slows just a portion of the photo. It’s great for athletes and their fans.”

Molly’s voice broke through the conversation. “Here Ginny and Hermione, carry these out to the table. George, grab the other pitcher of lemonade. Audrey, can you take this? I think we’re ready to eat.”

They headed outside where Bill, Percy, and Ron were finishing setting up the outdoor tables. Fleur was directing with baby Victoire on her hip. Cheerful faces around the table shared food, conversation, and laughter. Molly and Arthur were glad they had postponed their anniversary celebration for the summer, when all their children could join them. 

Congratulations were given to Angelina and George for their recent engagement. To Percy and Audrey for the new baby on the way. To Ginny for being the newest member of the Holyhead Harpies. Fleur and Bill shared the new skills Victoire had learned. Ron and Harry shared bits about auror training. And Hermione discussed her plans for her job at the Ministry.

And of course, much teasing was given to Charlie and his longest lasting relationship to date.

“Four months for Charlie is rather like a year for anyone else. It’s rare for anyone to last longer than a few weeks. You must be something special, Anna.”

“Oh I’m most definitely special!” 

“Remember the bloke that was always ‘inventing’ a new burn remedy? Every time I saw him he was practically begging to slather Charlie in it.”

“I remember Charlie being partial to the offspring of Defense professors. Four of ours had teenage kids and he dated them all!”

“Remember the American one? That poor girl sent letters for months after they returned home. Probably never forgave her father for leaving Hogwarts to write a book.”

“What about Tina? Terry? Tracy? What’s-her-name. Always trying to steal his shoes so he’d have to walk around barefoot.”

“I remember her! We should have paired her with the blond one - Mark, I think? He was always showing off whatever skin he could manage without breaking any indecency laws.”

“Argh! That’s enough!” Charlie tried to glare at the entire table. Everyone laughed.

“Ha! As if I didn’t know you went through relationships like tissues! It’s fine. Their loss is my gain.” Anna gave Charlie a wink and squeezed his hand. “The worst one I’ve seen was Samantha. She went to the reserve every day for two weeks spouting the worst poetry known to mankind. Alex kept copies of it for posterity.”

Red-faced, Charlie said, “I have an excellent idea! Let’s change the subject!” 

“All right Alice.” Anna giggled but obliged him. “Molly this chicken is fantastic!”

“Oh thank you! It’s the bacon in the sauce. It’s everyone’s favorite!”

Anna laughed, “Ah yes! You know, I tried to be a vegetarian once but I missed bacon too much.” 

Charlie darted a look at her. “You couldn’t give up bacon?”

“Admittedly I didn’t try very hard. Bacon is yummy.” She smiled at him and poked at her food, looking for little bits of bacon. 

His voice dropped. “Indeed.” 

“What.” Anna turned to him, her smile frozen. Conversations around the table lowered in volume.

“Nothing.” He also began prodding at the food on his plate instead of eating it. “You tried to give it up and you couldn’t. It’s fine.” 

“Fine? Really?” Anna rolled her eyes. “You want to have this conversation now?”

“No, no. I don’t want to. It’s just you couldn’t really give it up.” Charlie sipped his water and served himself more mashed potatoes, avoiding eye contact.

Anna knew this was not the time for yet another one of these discussions but she also did not want Charlie to have the last word. She took hold of his wrist, pressing on his pulse point. “Not all bacon is created equal you know.”

“But you wanted the bacon, right? Eventually you went back to bacon.” He stared hard at his plate.

Conversations around the table stopped completely. Everyone gaped at the two of them, heads swiveling side to side, like spectators of a tennis match. Anna didn’t care. Charlie started it and she was going to win. Again.

“Yeah I mean, I like bacon but it’s not the only thing I like. If bacon comes with giant scones packed with cranberries and pecans, I might not even notice the bacon at all.”

He turned to her, pulling his hand from hers. “That’s ridiculous. I’ve served lots of breakfasts and no one wants to skip the bacon, given the option.”

“Well if the bacon is served with burnt toast and cold tea, then yes, you better be serving damn good bacon. But your breakfasts aren’t like that. There’s stacks of pancakes dripping in syrup. Fluffy eggs stuffed with cheese. Ooh! Crepes rolled with sweetened cream and strawberries! Cinnamon rolls covered in almond icing!”

“Maybe that’s enough for now but eventually you’re going to want bacon!”

“I guess? But I’m a grown woman so if I really needed to, I could make my own. I don’t mind cooking solo while you’re at work. Or you could just keep me company while I cook.”

“Sure until you get sick of making your own and then what?”

“Are you saying you know better what I want for breakfast?”

“I’m saying you went back to bacon before so why can’t I expect you’ll go back to bacon again?”

“Because I told you I can live without it and you should believe me. I know what I want!”

“One day you’re going to want bacon and I’m not going to give you any!”

“Stop telling me what I want for breakfast!”

“No because it’s my breakfast too! I don’t want to be holding a stack of pancakes one morning while you go skipping out the door in search of someone else with bacon!”

“At this point, it’s more likely you’ll hoard all the breakfast for yourself and shove me out the door to forage for my own!”

“I would never!”

“You already are!”

He froze and she knew she’d won this skirmish. She always won in the end because Charlie was worth fighting for.

His eyes darted around the table. Everyone gaped at him, to afraid to move or interrupt. “I’m sorry.” He slumped out of his rigid stance. He looked down at his plate again and laced his fingers with Anna’s. “I'm sorry. It’s just I love you and - “

“I love you too.” She lifted her hands to cup his cheeks. His brown eyes met hers and her heart melted all over again. “And I want to have all my breakfasts with you. Bacon or no bacon.”

“But everyone loves bacon.“

“Stop. Not everyone loves bacon. You certainly don’t. And I want to not eat bacon with you.” She pulled his face to hers and kissed each cheek with a loud smack. She held his hand again and resumed eating with the other. 

“I’m confused. Are we having bacon for breakfast or should we make pancakes instead?” Nervous laughter broke out as George broke the tension. The awkward moment passed and the sound of cutlery chiming and murmured conversation again filled the room.

“Whatever you make will be fine,” Anna said. “We’ll cross the bacon bridge when we get to it. Together, yeah?”

Charlie leaned in to kiss her temple. “Together.”

As the light faded, Molly asked, “Anyone for pudding? I’ve made chocolate cake.”

“Let’s go inside. Anna, I want to see some of your pictures.”

\--------

In the den, Anna summoned the books from her bag. She pocketed the red one then tapped her wand on the green and blue ones. They grew from the size of playing cards into large photo albums.

“Here we are! The green one is landscapes and the blue one is portraits.” She passed the green one to George. She sat on the floor in front of Charlie’s chair, leaning back on his legs.

Ginny took the blue one. “What was in the red one?”

“Oh. Er… those are a little more… provocative.”

Ginny wrinkled her nose. “Are there any of Charlie in there?”

“No.”

“That’s a shame,” said Angelina.

“Oi! I’m right here!” George protested.

“Psh! Everyone knows Charlie’s the good-looking one. And that I got the ugly twin.” Angelina cackled at George. He flicked a bunched up napkin at her. She flicked it back with a wink and an air kiss.

“They aren’t here anyway. They’re at home in the private collection,” Anna said with a giggle. 

Charlie tugged her braid lightly. “What? There aren’t any pictures like that of me!”

“Charlie, all the pictures of you are pictures like that. Your smile is absolutely wicked! But no, the only one of Charlie in this collection is at the beginning of the blue one.” Ginny passed the blue book to her. She flipped a few pages in. “Here we go. This is right after we met. He’d just removed a splint from a little baby dragon and it flew for the first time.” 

Molly took the book from her, “Aww you look so happy here! I’d like a copy of that, if you can manage it.” She passed the album on.

“Of course! I brought you a few pictures already but I’d be happy to send you more.”

“I want to see the naughty pictures!”

“Ginny!”

“What? We all want to see them but I’m the only one that will say it out loud.”

Angelina spoke up, “I’m with Ginny! I want the red book!” George gave her a pinch on the arm.

“There’s nothing graphic. It’s just a little racier than people expect of portraits.” Anna pulled the red album from her pocket and enlarged it. She handed it to Angelina. “Sometimes it’s couples together, or someone alone to gift to their loved one. They’re romantic.”

The other women gathered around Ginny and Angelina. Sullen husbands and boyfriends sat across the room.

Fleur was the first to make a request. “Oh my! I need a picture like this of Bill!”

“Fleur! I’m not stripping for Charlie’s girlfriend!”

“Shows how much you know. He is not naked. Only sunning by the water.” She held the book up for him to see. He simply shrugged. 

“I’d be happy to photograph any of you. We can make a collection for Molly and Arthur’s anniversary. We’ll see what we can do tomorrow.” Anna tapped her head on Charlie’s knees. He leaned forward to massage her neck and shoulders. 

“There’s going to be quidditch in the morning,” Percy said. “Then we’re heading to the lake for an afternoon picnic.”

“Sounds good,” said Charlie “Our portkey is set for eight o’clock so we have plenty of time for dinner.”

Anna moved from the floor to squeeze into the armchair with Charlie. “I call chaser for my team! Ooh, we should pair it so couples are on opposite teams. How even is the skill level here?”

“I will stay home with Victoire,” said Fleur.

“And I don’t think I should be flying while pregnant,” said Audrey.

Percy followed immediately, “I’ll keep Audrey company.”

Hermione laughed, “And I’m not going to pretend to like flying.”

Bill did a quick head count. “Ok so how about Anna, George, Ginny, and me on one team. And Charlie, Angie, Ron, and Harry on the other?”

“Oh how fun! I can’t wait!” Anna yawned deeply. “For now, I’m exhausted and think I’ll head up to bed.”

Angelina stood. “I’ll come with you and show you where you’re sleeping. No one lose the red book because I want to finish looking at it in the morning!”

Anna gave Charlie’s belly a pat as she rose. She made her way up the stairs, giggling with Angelina.

\--------

“Good morning all!”

“Anna! You’re up! Here my sweet, I made you some tea.”

“Mmm. This is why I love you.” Anna drank deeply from her mug before setting herself in Charlie’s lap. His arms circled her waist. “What did we decide on for breakfast?”

“Mum made bacon sandwiches, scrambled eggs, fried potatoes, and, because they are your favorite, cranberry scones. I guess you get your pick today.”

“Excellent. I will pass on the bacon sandwiches and take a scone or two. Double on the butter.”

“Anything for you,” He said with a smile. 

Anna moved to the chair next to Charlie. He handed her a plate with two buttered scones. As she ate, his arm circled her shoulders. She gave him a wide smile and squeezed his thigh. Then she turned to Audrey with questions about her work in the Ministry.

After breakfast, they trooped down the hill to the makeshift quidditch pitch. Hermione and Fleur ended up tagging along to serve as the cheering section. The Weasleys were pleased to find that Anna was as cutthroat about quidditch as the rest of them. With Anna and Ginny as chasers, the other team didn’t stand a chance. 

“Figures Bill would manipulate us so he had all the best players,” Charlie grumbled.

“Hey!” Ron protested. “I’m a good player! And Harry would have caught the snitch if he hadn’t been so busy ogling Ginny!”

“I wasn’t ogling Ginny!”

“You can’t lie about it Harry, we all saw you!” said Angelina.

“Well maybe you should have been watching the quaffle instead of watching me watch Ginny. If I was even watching Ginny, which I wasn’t.” mumbled Harry. He pulled Ginny close and walked with his arm around her waist. 

“No worries! We’ll have a rematch when we come back for Christmas!”

\--------

Lunch was more informal than dinner. Everyone passed in and out of the kitchen, eating anywhere it was convenient. Eventually plans were made to head to the lake.

Bill, Charlie, and Percy left first, carrying towels, blankets, and shade umbrellas. The others would follow shortly with food and games.

“So… ” Bill began as they neared the lake, “bacon...”

“Do we have to?” Charlie asked with a sigh.

“You’re the one that brought it up.” Percy pointed out. “We’re all dead curious what it was about.”

“I know. I shouldn’t have.” Charlie kicked a pebble in the path. “It’s nothing really, just the same argument Anna and I have periodically.”

“Is this by chance the same argument you’ve had with a hundred other people?” Bill asked.

“I guess? In one way or another.” Charlie dumped his pile of blankets in the grass by the lake. He shouldn’t have brought it all up last night. Anna had even tried to avoid it. But maybe he was ready to share? 

“Ugh it’s all so frustrating!” An angry wave of his wand made one of the blankets fly high. 

The three brothers watched it float down. Bill waved his wand to spread it along the bank. Percy used his wand to enlarge and plant the umbrellas to cast it in shade.

“You don’t have to tell us,” said Bill. He sent the towels to the dock on the lake. “But we’re worried about you.” 

“Anna seems ok with whatever it is. Audrey thinks you can’t have kids. She said Anna made a comment about adopting enough for a quidditch team.”

Charlie snorted. “Yeah that’s her plan - adopt seven redheads and make a Weasley quidditch team. I’ll train them and she’ll promote them. We’ll all retire on their winnings. I’m not sure how serious she is but she’s made some sketches for their uniforms and logo so maybe I should quit laughing it off.”

Bill laughed. “That would be hilarious! You should definitely be encouraging her! In the next few years there will be a ton of cousins you can use for reserves.” He levitated a few larger rocks closer to the blanket then transfigured them into squashy chairs.

Percy pulled them back on topic. “So it’s kids then? Do you need help?”

“No.” Charlie paused. He’d brought this on himself at dinner last night. He knew they would ask and maybe he needed that push. His family loved him and would support him no matter what. He sat on the blanket and motioned for his brothers to do the same. 

“No it’s not about kids.” Not really, he thought. Butterflies took flight in his stomach. “I’d be happy adopting a hundred if she wanted. It’s… er... “

“It’s okay Charlie. We’re here for you.” Both Bill and Percy gave him their undivided attention.

He took a deep breath. “I’m asexual.”

“I see. Maybe?” Percy gave him a confused look. “You date all the time. How are you asexual?”

“Well I still like people!” He began pulling up blades of grass and shredding them.

“So why not just get a housemate? Isn’t that easier?”

“A housemate won’t spoon me when it’s cold out,” Charlie said, rolling his eyes. He found a stick to snap into tiny pieces. “I like having a girlfriend. Or a boyfriend. I like holding hands. And candlelit dinners. And long walks on the beach or whatever else people like. Except sex. I don’t want sex.” 

“Huh. I can genuinely say I did not see this coming.” Bill stretched his legs out and leaned back on his hands. He gave Charlie a contemplative look. “Have you had sex?”

“Yeah I have but it’s not that great and not really of interest. People say they don’t care but after a few weeks of dating and it’s clear my tongue is staying in my own mouth and my hands are not going to slip inside anyone else’s clothes, it’s over.”

“And Anna?”

Charlie shrugged. “Anna has known me a while. She’s watched them come and go and she says I deserve better. She says she doesn’t care that I don’t want sex.” He found some tiny pebbles and launched them at the lake with his wand. “It’s just hard to believe her. I’ve had others say the same but they give up eventually.”

Bill nodded. “Did they give up or did you push them away?”

Charlie plucked more grass. His fingernails were stained green. “Both, I guess.”

“So bacon is sex.” Percy pushed his glasses up his nose and cocked his head to the side. “What is breakfast?”

“Conversation, companionship. Long walks on the beach. Just all that other stuff. She says I’m better at it because sex isn’t fogging up my brain like it does for other guys.”

Bill and Percy both sniggered at that. Percy said, “I’m not going to lie, I’m thinking of Audrey naked right now.” A pause, and then Bill and Charlie roared with laughter.

Charlie rolled his eyes. “You two are the worst!” He gave Bill a shove then ran for the dock and cannon-balled into the water. He gave a loud shout. “It’s not bad! Come on in!”

Percy gave Bill a second shove and took off running, throwing his glasses into the grass to be summoned later. He beat Bill by half a second as they both jumped in. It was just like being kids again, splashing and yelling at each other. They swam for the shore just as the next group came to join them. 

\--------

The Weasleys had been coming to the lake for picnics for years. And now with their expanded family, it was louder and more chaotic than ever. Anna took pictures of everything she could, both with her muggle and magic cameras.

Shots of Bill sunning with a sleeping Victoire on his chest. Fleur firing water from her wand at Audrey, the two of them running and shrieking. Percy and Hermione reading under an umbrella. George throwing Angelina off the dock. Harry trying to drown Ron. Ginny causing a whirlpool to drag them both down. Molly and Arthur cuddling on a nearby blanket, observing their brood. And through it all, Charlie stayed by her side, feeding her stories of his misspent youth.

They laughed. They played. They shouted. They swam. They ate. They talked. 

It was an afternoon none of them would forget.

Late that evening, happily worn out, they trooped back to the Burrow. Preparations began for goodbye. Bags were packed, rooms were cleaned, leftovers were charmed. The younger kids apparated to their flats in London. George and Angelina apparated to their flat above the shop. Percy, Audrey, Bill, Fleur, and Victoire would be staying one more night.

Charlie pulled Bill aside. “You can tell Mum and Dad about me and Anna. Well me, really. It might make it easier if they know.”

“You wouldn’t rather tell them yourself?” 

Charlie shook his head. “No I think it’ll be easier coming from you. I don’t want to make it a thing.”

“And what should I tell them about Anna? You going to give her a real chance?”

“Yeah.” Charlie smiled. “She’s amazing. By far the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“Good. Then you work hard at keeping her. Compromise when you can and she’ll do the same.”

More hugs and promises to owl soon. One last hug.

Anna took Charlie’s hand and they walked out to the field to take their portkey.

“Did you have a good time?” she asked.

“Definitely. And you?”

“The absolute best! Your family is amazing! I had no idea that four year old you spent six straight months in a dragon costume! That must have been adorable!”

“Ugh. How many embarrassing stories did they tell you?!”

“I don’t know,” she said, wrapping her arms around his waist, “how many stories are there?”

He held her close as the portkey pulled them to Paris.


End file.
